I'm so afraid of you, and that's what saddens me the most.
The fact that I can’t have the kind of mother-daughter relationship every one else has.
The fact that you’re so judge mental about everything.
The fact that you never listen.
And the fact that you’re so aggressive.
You have a way of always making me feel protected and cared for. I am seriously falling or you, and I can’t spend another minute apart. The fact that I won’t be by your side for a while breaks my heart into a billion pieces. You’re all I want. I’m starting a count down til next year I guess :(
I feel like dying. I don’t really have people to tell how I’m really feeling. Well one person but I don’t wanna overwhelm them with my problems. It’s like I cant even be home for a second without something happening. ACTUALLY I shouldn’t even call this place my home, this is just a house that I happen to live in. I’m not fucking welcomed in this place! I just wish I had somewhere where I could just be… Me
“Before you can grow up, you must fall in love 3 times. Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever. This will teach you who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more. Once you must fall in love with someone you believe is perfect. You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as anything less than you deserve. And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you. This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be. And when you’re through will all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt, and the ones that hurt you are the ones that needed you the most. But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept and is not something that can be defined, it is different to each and every person on this earth, knowing that everyone only wants to be loved.”—Anonymous (via fluffynips)
I’m excited about being able to go to college, and living in a dorm, and making new friends. I’m nervous about school and the classes, and if I will be able to handle it. And then I found my roommate, she seems extremely nice, and she lives near me. It was all fun and exciting until she knew all of you. She’s even going to go in your prom group with that girl. And I don’t want to come off as jealous or anything, but I’m actually hurt of the way you did things. And honestly no one knows, because I had been fine, I was okay, I was happy, actually I AM HAPPY. I just feel like you made me look stupid in front of everyone. I feel used, and lied to. And I wish I could just put this behind us, but I don’t know how to. And the worst part is that I know it wasn’t you, or at least not the whole way. And I mean I guess you know who was behind all this. Sometimes I wish she could feel what she made me feel, but then again I don’t want anyone going through what I had to go through. One thing I realized is that I can’t hold grudges against her forever.. so here it goes. I forgive her, I know she’s never going to say sorry, but I just want her to know that I am okay with her existence, and if she ever look back and remember everything that she did to hurt me just remember that it’s okay, and I forgive her. I am now going to try and focus on the bigger picture. I’m going to let myself heal, and start all over again. Because I deserve to be happy.
I was wearing a dress today.. like a flowy summer dress.. completely appropriate. And a guy who was sitting by my friend could stop telling me how he would trip and pull the zipper down from my dress ans how lucky my boyfriend was, but I didnt anything and my friend decides to tell him that I’m single, and then he wouldn’t stop talking about my dress and what he would do and stuff. It was super awkward.